poetfreak

I want to travel, travel like I have never travelled before. Although this will not be the first time, I want to be alone again. I will pack my 40 liters Assault, my Apexus Tadpole Tent, my Merrell Shoes, my beaver slippers, my local swiss knife, my local headlamp, my never-been used hammock, my journal, my books and of course my old books.

This is going to be one-hell of a roadtrip. I am addicted to the feeling of being a stranger, a person who has all the rights to be friends with everybody, no judgement, no pretentions, just the plain self, face to face with what the locals call their way of life.

I want to sit on the sand with a stranger. Tell him all the things that brings me pain and joy. We will watch the sunset and the sunrise telling each other our stories, listening to each to other till we get tired and off we go on our own ways. Exciting, liberating.

I am going to remember each road that I will walk into, the trees that I will pass by, the color of their leaves, the smell of the air, the comfort of silence. I will cherish them as I move past them.

I want to talk to people I do not know and look at the in the eye allowing myself to be vulnerable from their piercing eyes questioning my identity. I shall become one with all those who travel without purpose but to decipher the meaning of being alone, of being no one, of being nothing.

And when I get back to the busy life of the city, I shall crave for the simple lives of the folks 've met. I shall remember waking up in the morning and feeling the blessing of living for another day to see the sunrise, breathe the fresh air and walk on a road that has been as familiar as the back of thir calloused hands. And I will replay on my mind all the stories shared to me by people who had come in touch with life's most painful path. And just like many others, I pretend that my life is better yet in the middle of the night, when the city lights has gone out I shall realize that my story is no different. It is the same worries, the same sadness, the same happiness, the same dreams, it all differs on the degree of intensity.

Because of this, I shall learn. I shall learn from their experiencea and whenever I will be confronted by my own demon, I will remember all those people, fighting the same battle and I shall be strong, I shall stand up , I shall withstand and then win.

Currently feeling: excited

crystal_sapphire

Living in the past, using the present

to wish for health, happiness and

self-fulfiment somewhere and

at the same time in the future

is the type of negative thinking

we need to change.

We are masterpieces of creation,

totally unique, goodness is the positive force of our nature.

That force has to be the foundation

of any new and lasting start.

Think in a non-agresive way, only

good thoughts about yourself; in all things focus only on the doing,

never on the end result, this builds our confidence

and brings us into the present moment.

The love, happiness and freedom

we seek will begin to grow from within.

We need not to search for it,

it will find us if we let it.

poetfreak

is there such a thing as forever?

when do you give up on pursuing someone who has fallen out of love? how do you hold on to promises said but was never done..

how do you start to build another life after everything has crumbled and all this time you have thought you were building a foundation for a beautiful and stable future?

when they say it is over, is it really over?

can you still fight for a fight, he said he has already won?

is it cowardice to give up and succumb to reality?

how can something so beautiful end in such a misery?

why do we ask ourselves, where did i go wrong, if we have given it all without asking for anything?

why does love sometimes become unrequitted? why cant people meet at some point and agree to love each other with all honesty for the rest of their life?

when you have been hurt a lot of times, when rejection is becoming a pattern, when do you cease to adore someone who cant appreciate you back?

why does pain in pair with love?

why do others sleep with the person they love most and others do not?

is it because they are more beautiful and some are less?

is it because they are richer?

is it because they are better?

i need to know why...

they are asking me why i am still not in a serious relationship..

i had my share of mistakes, i know..

is that because i am weak or because i am too strong to take on a road unknown?

Currently listening to: people taking in calls
Currently reading: at the river piedra i sat down and wept
Currently watching: a blank space
Currently feeling: devious

crystal_sapphire

So this aint the end -
I saw you again today
I had to turn my heart away
Smiled like the sun -
Kisses for real
And tales - it never fails!

You lying so low in the weeds
I bet you gonna ambush me
Youd have me down down down down on my knees
Now wouldnt you, barracuda?

Back over time we were all
Trying for free
You met the porpoise and me
No right no wrong, selling a song-
A name, whisper game.

If the real thing dont do the trick
You better make up something quick
You gonna burn burn burn burn it to the wick
Ooooooh, barracuda?

Sell me sell you the porpoise said
Dive down deep down to save my head
You...i think you got the blues too.

All that night and all the next
Swam without looking back
Made for the western pools - silly fools!

If the real thing dont do the trick
No, you better make up something quick
You gonna burn burn burn burn it to the wick
Ooooooohhhh, barra barracuda.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh.

sisimulan ko dito:

"But some things in this world
they dont make sense
Some things you dont leave until they leave you
And then the things that you miss."

                                         -bright lights, matchbox 20


resigned na ako sa euro-med. sa wakas.
hindi dahil ayoko ng magtrabaho o kaya dahil sa ayoko ng trabaho ko dun, pero dahil sa may mas mahalagang bagay akong dapat gawin.

eto talaga ang pangarap ko. bukad sa maakyat ang tugatog ng Mt. Apo, gusto kong maging doktor.
at eto na ang pagkakataon ko.

no'ng college ako, naiinip na ako sa kaaaral, gusto ko na agad magtrabaho para magkapera. pero no'ng nandoon na ako, namiss ko naman ang pag-aaral. mas madali kasing mag-aral kaysa magtrabaho.

nakakamiss ang pagpupuyat, ang pagkukumahog sa mga reports at assignments. hehe.


pero, ngayon na resigned na ako, namimiss ko naman ang trabaho at mga ka-trabaho ko sa euro-med.

hay ang labo talaga ng damdamin ng tao.

isa pa:

"And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me
'Cause I'm not here."

                      -i'm still here, john rzeznik.


pumunta ako sa school nung isang linggo pagkatapos kong magapply ng NMAT, dumiretso na ako sa professor ko sa anatomy para ibalita na mag-aaral na ako ng medicine. natuwa siya. sa wakas, may estudyante na siya na magiging doktor.

konting kwentuhan, balitaan. at siyempre, hindi niya ako nalimutang tanungin kung may GG (God's Gift/BF) na nga ba ako. tinawanan ko lang ulit ang tanong niya. habang naglalakd kami sa corridor, may nakasalubong kaming mag-jowa.
ay ang pogi ni kuya! pero yung babae...errr. natawa ako dun sa prof ko kasi siya yung unang nakapansin, tapos siya din yung unang "nanlait" hehe.

siyempre humirit naman ako.

"bakit siya ma'am may poging boylet, eh mas maganda naman ako sa kanya? pabiro kong tanong sabay tawa.

"eh baka naman may something dun sa girl na nagustuhan ng guy." sabi ng prof ko.

"bakit kaya wala paring nakakahanap sa'kin? parang napagiiwanan na ako ah." hirit ko ulet.

"baka kasi bukod sa hindi ka babaeng-babae, baka ang tingin nila sa'yo eh hindi ka magseseryoso.." sagot ng prof ko.



hala. napaisip naman ako. may mali ba sa itsura at kilos ko? mukha ba akong hindi magseseryoso?

bat girl.

sa pic na to siguro, OO. hindi ako seryoso. hek.

sarap kayang tumalon no'ng mga panahon na yan,
ikaw ba naman ang makakagradweyt eh, pero sige na nga, aaminin ko, medyo sinapian ako niyan.
ika-nga, HIGH.


syet. wala akong magawa, basta may maiblog lang eh.

Moonraker

1. I am still God-fearing

2. I have a complete family

3. None of us gets sick and we always eat on time

4. God gave me sports instead of vices

5. I have a lot of friends

6. I have things that i got from hardwork

7. God gave me music

8. I learned how to control my emotions

9. I am better than i was before two years ago

10. God gave me someone who's special :)

youloveme

The event was quite a success and my co-host was crazy, so it was all good last Saturday. After the event we had lounge of our own and just chatted away with some friends. One thing I love about parties is that you get to meet new people. New and interesting people. Which means you got new connections, which means it will be easier for you to get gigs or get into clubs without having to pay. For some reason, I'm starting to believe the saying:

"It's not what you know, it's who you know"

My friend and I are planning to hit the beach this weekend and finally surf. It's been almost a year since I've gone surfing and I'm not surprised if I don't get to stand on the board anymore. Darn it. My friend's selling this brand new long board for a very very reasonable price. Now I'm thinking, how do I get Pops to buy that board? He's been talking about boards anyway. Fingers Crossed. I have an offer in mind. Hopefully he bites. haha

So, I got two weeks to step up my game  and show them I'm good enough or I'm out of the station since a lot are applying for the job. I got two things in mind:

1. "You guys suck, your training sucks, I just lost my interest in your company"

2. "I'll prove you wrong"

Now of course I'm leaning towards the second option, but the question is, what if I don't?

Moonraker

As early as 4am, all of us is awake... too excited again because it is another race day... we were in a hurry because i am worried that i may be too far from the starting line of the 32nd MILO marathon Finals! as i expected, when we arrived and i entered the chute... i was 250 meters away... waaahhh! it will take more than 2 mins. before i could break away from the crowd! by then the pace setters are already far away and it would be difficult for me to catch up... i heard the crowd chanting as Asia's sprint queen Lydia De Vega made an inspirational talk...  I remember the lines she said " BE YOURSELF WHEN YOU RUN, have your mind and body tell you what to do! if you feel that you are tired then walk.. maya-maya takbo ulit!" (whew!i am inspired!) As the final call for the runners to enter the race chute was announced, it made more anxious in getting nearer to the starting line ... My prayers were answered because there is a pack of runners who paved their way as the starting gun for 10K was fired... they need to catch up so i took advantage of it, i was 50 meters then when the starting gun for 3K was fired and about 15 meters away when the 5K race started... most of participants joined this event... to my estimate, we were more than 10,000 5K runners... there are a lot of shoving and pushing at the start... but i managed to position myself well and see to it that my game plan will be followed.... pacing of 6 min/km... i am annoyed because most of participants who were high school students are really making it out of the race... maliligalig as they say... again, a common mistake of first time marathon runner is to exert too much effort in outrunning others thinking that it is better to position themselves ahead on the early distance of the race... when we crossed the US Embassy we were down to 600 competitive runners... i never stopped running for 3.5K however i felt something on the right lower portion of my tummy... MUSCLE CRAMPS! i had to walk but i cannot afford to see more and more runners getting ahead of me! I finished the race at an estimated time of 28+ mins... MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! i am only gunning for sub 30 min. finish!