reielle

Making a decision to have a child--it's momentous.

It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

A baby is something you carry inside you for nine months, in your arms for three years and in your heart till the day you die.

Currently feeling: grateful

reielle

SA huli, kmeng 2 lng tlga ni wen naging bisita nila Lei last Sat.  Overnyt ulet. hahaha. Ayun. Nnood lng khapon ng New Moon. Wula lang. hehehe.

magnifysky

"I'm learning, I'm learning you now.
Stars fading, free falling into you

This time I'm sure of what I'm looking for.
And that's what I want you to know.
And I won't ever let you go, let you go

Underneath the waves,
I can feel you underneath the waves.

And I'm ready for you now,
I'm ready for you now.
Be ready for me now,
Be ready for me now. . ."

-underneath the waves, hale

reielle

finally... after a load of anxious waiting...

it's confirmed....

I'm pregnant!!! whew! (again??)

sooo...  what's next????

soulsmoker

it was a good night. a time where all the rantings about life was expressed. it was a good therapy for us all. and then after the conversations, i realized we were all victims of love. at some point in our lives we have succumb to loving that one person who made us feel alive , got hurt in the process and then they moved on, they were able to, i was able to before and i will be able to do it now.

i actually feel better now, at least now. i would not know about tomorrow, the pain might come again. when i am reminded of him, the things we used to do, the things we used to share, the things we used to say, the places we go to. but that is  a part of it. i have to pick up the pieces or no one else will. i will have to decide to move on, get a life, start from scratch, mend myself. this is going to be very difficult but i know it is possible.

tonight is that night. and although it may seem as difficult as crossing the ganges river. i will do this. i can do this. i am stronger than this. i am better than this. the decisions i  have made lately are but momentary lapses of judgement, though i do not regret them,, they made me realize something. when u hit the bottom, there is no other way but up. 

i love him, love him just the way he is, no buts , no ifs. and  i will always do. but i have to get on with my life because the world will not stop revolving just to pry on my pathetic private life. there are a million people in this planet and some are going through so much worse than this, i should be thanksful. there is so mcuh more to do. my identity should not be attached with him. my happines should not be because of his existence. my voice should be back. my zest for life whould be reborn.

i am done wallowing on my own sad emotions. yet. i will still love the rain. the grey sky. the sad sound of birds humming in the meadow.  the lonely boat in the river. the falling of brown leaves. the breeze of summer. the silence of the night. the sorrow of poets. the journals of my past.the  tragic love stories. the melacholic music.

and yes. i was looking for a miracle. i found it. in an unlikely time and place.

to be continued..

Currently listening to: someday by sugar ray
Currently feeling: haaaaappppppyyyyyy

soulsmoker

i need a miracle.

yet.

i do not even believe in miracles.

Currently listening to: himala by rivermaya
Currently watching: my chatscreen
Currently feeling: broken

i hate you.

but 

i hate myself more.